Nobody Tells You The Silence Is the Hard Part

By Jack Mercer · Real Talk · June 1, 2026

On the quiet kind of struggle nobody warns you about when the talking stops.

I have three guys I’d call close friends. We talk maybe once a month, mostly about sport or work, never about anything that actually matters.

It’s not that we don’t care. It’s that none of us started the habit of saying the real thing out loud, and now it feels strange to start.

Last week was a bad one. Work stress, a fight with my wife that wasn’t really about the dishes, and a low mood I couldn’t explain. I didn’t call anyone. I didn’t even consider it as an option.

I scrolled my phone instead. Watched something forgettable. Went to bed annoyed at myself for not doing anything useful with the feeling.

The strange part is I know exactly what I’d tell a friend going through the same thing. Call someone. Say the actual sentence. Don’t sit in it alone.

I just can’t seem to take my own advice. There’s a script men get handed early: handle it, don’t make it anyone else’s problem, especially not your mates’.

I’m not writing this because I’ve fixed it. I haven’t. I’m writing it because I suspect a lot of you read that second paragraph and felt something click.

Maybe the move isn’t a big dramatic conversation. Maybe it’s just texting one mate “rough week, you around?” and seeing what happens.

I’m going to try that this week. No promises on how it goes.

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Jack Mercer writes about real life for men who are too busy living it to talk about it. No advice. No solutions. Just one bloke being honest.